Thursday, June 29, 2006
Yes, that was my exciting morning and all I have is this weird temporary crown to show for it :(
Work was boring. Work is pretty awful. I have been reading different things about how to know when it's time to leave (or when you're about to get fired) and I'll be damned it large percentages of this advice aren't applicable to moi. My most recent aggrevation involves tickets to the ballgame. Why bother asking me if you're just going to give them to someone else anyway? The manager and her little band of flying monkeys... capital Whatever!
Momentarily, I will be off to play darts at Kramer's. I realized earlier it's been almost 2 months since I went darting, maybe more. How horrible...
The storm knocked out the power (AGAIN) last night, so I didn't sleep so well. Oddly enough, because it was too dark & too quiet.
Off to darts....
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
We are watching "A Goofy Movie" right now. This movie always makes me want to cry, and the older my daughter gets the more it hits me. Yes, it makes me Goofy but I'm okay with that :)
It's been forever since I've written because, well, I worked all weekend. Friday night was the Rendezvous All-Stars. Fairly decent smooth jazz artist from the Rendezvous label which if I am not mistaken is headed up by David Sanborn, so really how could you go wrong? Saturday was a benefit for Project READ, local bands, very low-key. Sunday was Blues Fest. Like 3 local bands during the day and the big show Keb' Mo & Bonnie Raitt. I worked 26 hours give or take. I'm still a little beat. Tan and awed by Bonnie, but beat nonetheless.
I don't work again 'til July8th. Thank God! I'm fairly certain that I will not be working there next year. I'm not all that happy about the way they do a few things.
Tomorrow probably darts. I have no idea what I am doin' for the 4th. Next Thursday, I'm gonna go see Dresden Dolls & Panic at the Disco! because well, I'm cool like that and it's okay for you to be jealous.
I heard "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies" on the way to my interview. I like them. They make me giddy with my musical taste of a sixteen year old.
Friday, June 23, 2006
If I were to be inclined and able to burn a CD right now, it would probably have the following playlist.
Never Let Me Down Again - Depeche Mode
Waiting on a Friend - The Rolling Stones
One of Us Should Know - Bob Dylan
Show Me Your Soul - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Wildest Dreams - Moody Blues
Under the Milky Way - The Church
Follow the Sun - The Beatles
Long Distance - Iggy Pop
Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac
Favorite Mistake - Sheryl Crow
Maybe a few others...it's been one of those weeks. The good mood is still intact, but with an undercurrent of hmm.
It seems like every song I hear for the past couple of days takes me there, that place I want to ignore. I am mostly ignoring it. The old Jenny would have done a number of borderline pathetic things just to skim some of the good feeling off the top. I'm not saying I haven't thought about it. I just know that whatever starts always ends...the last time quite painfully.
I mentioned to
Raising my eyebrows and getting back to work...
Thursday, June 22, 2006
I have been jonesing for Twizzlers, but I have also been trying to watch my junk intake so I keep passing them up when I am at the store. We just had a vistor here at work and they brought us a tub o' Twizzlers. :D Mmmmmm, happy!
In other news, well, there really isn't any. Ordered new glasses for the kid last night, that was kind of fun. On the way there, I helped her change the words to "The Anthem" by Good
I feel like I have come out of the past couple of months a little more confident. Maybe a little more aware of what I want in general. I have something I should deal with, it's more apparent to me now than it ever has been before. My usual MO is basically accept and ignore. It's often easier to do nothing, to hide behind excuses and fears. I'm feeling pretty bold as of late and thus, feeling like dealing with it. In due time though, as this is something I can't half-ass.
Going to go ponder life without Twizzlers....
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
I love being preoccupied with certain quandaries in life. The last 24-48 hours has not been without minor bloggable incidents, I just don't feel like talking about all of it.
I knew the day had potential goodness when I heard Belle & Sebastian Step into my office or whatever that song is called. I really like that song for all it's poppy goodness and innuendo. Then, I flipped on the music when I walked in my office and got the Indigo Girls "Closer to Fine" I've been hearing that song a lot lately, luckily I like them. My most prized possession used to be a bootleg Indigo Girls tape. So, musically it's shaping up to be a good day.
Then, "C'mon, C'mon" by Sheryl Crow starts playing. Being immersed in quandary, this is the most appropriate song. My friend that I was talking to the other night wants to come crash at my place for a few weeks so he can pick up some work.(Hence the "oh no he didn't"comment) I'm okay with him staying, it'll mostly be like he's not there 'cept when he magically appears on the couch...snoring. It's the when he leaves that bothers me. It's always the when he leaves that bothers me. It appears that we are both currently in similar states of pondering our relationship, life, and everything else.
I don't know if we could make it work, but maybe we should both stop being pussies and actually try.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Oh, my last lines last night, I was just taken aback by a comment made. Actually, the whole damn conversation was pretty wonderful...considering who it was with and whatnot. On a technicality, we might be co-workers soon, that'd be kind of hot. I drifted off to sleep thinking of things I should have typed. One of these days maybe we'll figure it all out. Sigh, it's so complicated, always has been.
I am in a great mood today. Not letting anything get under my skin! Had an appointment with my neurologist, he gave me some samples to try for awhile. I've been okay with OTC stuff, but he says that this might actually work better for me. Going to do the laundry that ate the bathroom tonight, mostly because it appears I may have a house guest in the near future and I need to get my house arranged to accommodate that possibility.
Want proof my disposition has changed? I have "I'm a Brass Band" from Sweet Charity stuck in my head. I so need to see that again. I worked costumes for the
I stayed up too late. I'm feeling silly.
Hmm, I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!
Monday, June 19, 2006
I'm digging putting pics up here. I don't know breaks it up a bit. Plus, I have a ton o' pics from Disney to choose from, so what the hell, why not!
So, I may have mentioned my hopes of starting a new life after vacation. Ok, maybe not a new life, but definately making changes for the better, so that I can stop waking up in these unbecoming situations. I have to admit for a little bit in the past 24 hours, I doubted my ability to stay focused. I doubted that this would turn the way that I hope it will, but then like some glorious classifieds shower I found quite a few jobs that interest me. Like the kinds I have been looking for since I graduated college...and now I can say that I have sent resumes to about 10 different positions that don't suck like billing :)
I have tentative plans for my free Friday now. I am going to work the show. Although, we'll see how I feel after all of this because even before I picked up Friday, I was going to be working (total both jobs)12 days straight with the possibility of it being more because the July schedule is not up yet. I think working is my boy replacement, it's definately more satisfying that most of my relationships have ever been.
Crossing my fingers that one of these jobs pans out, and asking everyone else to send me all the good mojo they can for this. Several of them would mean not feeling like I have to work multiple jobs and sell all my earthly posessions to stay afloat. Quitting my current job would make me so happy that my head would probably split in half from size of the smile.
Welp, someboy has graced me with the honor of his IM and so I must bid you adieu. If only because I'm tired and he requires a great deal of energy to adequately adore,ignore, and filter. Oh my, oh no he did not... I'm still smiling.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Sitting here, trying to kill time before we go over to my parent's for some Father's day hubbabaloo. Always a good time. Always some sort of food mishap, usually involving flying potato salad, to make everyone laugh.
One of the good things in the stack o' mail waiting for me when I got home was an application for a job I had sent my resume to. Filled it out and took it to the post office this morning. We took the dog with us, and stopped at the park for a little while. If the dog hadn't been with us I think I would have stayed at the park longer...
I have had the most fantabulously bizarre dreams for the past two days. An amalgam of the Florida experience and every loose end in my life.
I realized earlier that I haven't really been out in awhile. There's some shows Saturday night, but alas I have to work. Actually, there may be some options Friday night as my daughter has already made plans to go hang with Gram & Pap. I'm thinking I need to buy some summer big girl shoes and a cute sun dress. I'm thinking that I might just go hang by myself at some undisclosed, unexplored location.
Besides the drudgery of work, my plan for the week involves selling CDs, books, and whatnot. Contrary to smart ass remarks made about that plan, I have no intention of going to that one place where that one guy works. I have better things to do than chase men who don't deserve me. Hopefully, I'll be able to move on to the next step which is slapping some of my dolls 'n stuff on Ebay.
Working hard today on NOT pondering why it is that I have never been the girl to set someone's world on fire...
Welp, I've killed a sufficent amount of time. Talk at y'all later!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Well, I'm back!
All in all, it was a pretty good trip. We did so much, it's no wonder I have blisters on the balls of my feet. Even with all the rain that Alberto dumped on us Monday and Tuesday we were able to do a lot of the things that we wanted to do. Jordan is already talking about next year when we go...
It was nice to have no worries for a whole week. I even ended up spending way less money than I had anticipated, which is a very good thing.
It's not to say that I didn't contemplate or ponder. I had a lot of thinking time. Even though I travelled with my daughter, she's not a huge conversationalist, especially when utterly engrossed in the magic of Disney.
I got to have lunch with an old friend of mine at House of Blues. I look good in the Bootsy Collins glasses. How do I have a life where I have a friend who is friend's with Bootsy, but I can't get bums on the street to talk to me? It was nice tho, didn't think that I ever see them again for various reasons. After lunch, my head definately kicked into high gear. The culmination of all these thoughts is that I now have Liz Phair's "Polyester Bride" stuck in my head. Especially the "should I bother dating unfamous men", somehow it's all fitting.
So, here we go back from vaca and ready to change my world. Truthfully, it feels like the events of the last several months happened eons ago. I feel so far removed from all that ickiness.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Thursday, June 8, 2006
Wednesday, June 7, 2006
Monday, June 5, 2006
Sunday, June 4, 2006
Thursday, June 1, 2006
Oh you know I did it
It's over and I feel fine
Nothing you could say is gonna change my mind
Waiting and I wait at the longest night
Nothing like the taste to sweet decline
I was down, I fell, I fell so fast
Dropping like the grains in an hourglass
Never say forever cause nothing last
Dancing with the bones of my buried past
Never mind there's nothing I can do
Bet your life there's something killing you
It's a shame we have to die my dear
No ones getting out of here, alive
What a way to go, they have no fear
No ones getting out of here, alive
Finished, I'm getting you off my chest
Made you come clean in a dirty dress
A promise is a promise you kept in check
Hard to cross a heart that beats it's best
Take a good hard look for the very last time
The very last one in a very long line
Only took a second to say goodbye
Been a pleasure but the pleasure's been mine, all mine
Ain't no way, DOA
Ain't no way, DOA
It's a shame we have to disappear
No ones getting out of here, alive
So, I had a Rob-Rachel-Jenny dream last night, first one and hopefully the last.
That being said, despite being exhausted, I did not sleep as well as I had hoped and I'm feeling spacy today.
Ah, the warped beauty of the manifestations of the subconscious mind!
At one point in dream Rachel and I were arguing and there was shiny,gleaming broken glass strewn all around us. Broken glass apparently signifies a change in your life, and apparently if it's sparkly it's a good change. Fighting seems to be an indicator of change, too. Although, in this case it could just be wishful thinking. :)
There was a whole bunch o' stuff in that dream that makes me wonder why I didn't have it sooner.
I'd look up some more of the highlights, but as I am at work all of the good dream dictionaries are blocked. Granted, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what some of it means.
Looks like there is an early bedtime in my future. Maybe I can will myself to dream about something better than Rob & Rachel tonight. Or just not dream at all, after all dreams just tend to make life that much more disappointing.