So, moments ago I had three IM screen going. Three boys. Three annoying conversations. Maybe it's just me...maybe I bring the ass out of men.
I woke up this morning thinking about one of them. I really try not to make it a habit, and I don't know what really prompt it, probably the impending doom of Valentine's Day. don't laugh, it's true. Sad, but true that this particular boy actually set the bar for some of my expectations.
And now I am sad. All the old stuff. How can two people never quite work out the way they want to? How come I still feel like this? It's been a longtime. Such a long time, and I believe I have on no less then ten occasions sworn that I will never speak to him, and yet everytime I seem to forget that I said that.
It's not even like anything he ever said or did was earth-shattering or complicated. He was just him and I was just me. No one else ever seemed to appreciate me (or at least accept me) the way he did. I wish I could find all of that in someone who wanted to settle down with me.
Maybe it's just my funk. There are options, but most of them seem like settling for less. That won't make me happy. I don't want to be with someone just to be with someone. I want to be with the person that understands why "OPP Binders" is so damn funny. Surely, there's more than one of those in the world...