As I see it...

I never wanted to be a biller when I grew up,

  I only wanted it to pay the bills.

 I only ever got degrees in business

because there were no night art classes.

Besides day jobs always paid better than night ones.

I always thought that I would do this for a while.

 That it would allow me to sock away a little.

I guess I was too optimistic.

Art makes me happy.

Like when I decoupaged the entertainment center,

Pure bliss.

Just creative pursuits in general,

Always pull me out of the bitter Jenny

I have become to

The contented Jenny I once was.

How do I get back to what makes me happy?

I can't just up and quit.

Not sure that going back to school is the answer.

Still think pretty heavily about my shop,

all that dream entails.

But if I can't pay my bills now,

How am I even going to swing starting up something?

It would be great though.

I mean I know I had that whole thing written out.

The whole selling a lot of my junk to get my obligations

Down to a more manageable level.

It actually would have all flowed together.

But I want other things too.

Damn it, I'm crying again.

That house on Sagamon for one.

Jesus, it even fits in with other things I want.

I should just decoupage something else.

Something big so that I can escape into it.

I can forget about everything.

And just pretend that I have it all.