If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. ~Bob Hope

Monday, December 26, 2005

364 Days 'til Christmas...

Man, I am tired.
So many details of Friday I wanted to share, but just haven't had the time to type. Not even so much the what happend, but the where all of this has put Jenny's head.
Christmas was good. Again tons o' details that I'm too tired to type.
Hope everyone had a good Christmas, too!!
I got a garbage disposal!! Woohoo!! One less smell to worry about here! I got good stuff. Always do, it's the weird syncrohnicity between my brothers and I. Or maybe just luck.
After Friday, I have been extremely pensive. Things that were said have stuck with me. Then, possibly having run into A1's girlfriend Christmas Eve. I am not entirely sure about it, but the weirdness of the vibe tells me that it was. Just thoughts. Just, you know... sigh, I think I said it best in an email I wrote to a friend of mine:
Did I ever tell you about this guy I met over a year ago. I really really really really really really fucking like him. Not just because he is jenny's kinda hottie, but because we had the most I don't the conversation, the spark, the very few guys give me this kind of butterflies...ever. I saw him last night. I know he saw me, there really was no way he couldn't have. Never really got in a position to say hi or anything, but I didn't really expect that I would. (He's in one of the bands that played, but he gets exempted from my rule about not dating guys in bands because I met him previous to the band. If that makes any sense. Besides, he said one of the nicest truest things anyone has ever said about me.) I just wish I could get some chance now that some of the previous uh complications are out of the way. Just to hang out and see what these butterflies are all about. But without resorting to beong very Alice-like and stalking him, it's just not going to happen.
It seems like I can never be where I need to be to make the things I want to happen happen. It's making me very sad today and I find myself wishing I could be some other type of girl than what I am because maybe it'd be better than being me.
Boys are stupid.
I'm sure he appreciated the boys are stupid comment.
I don't care. It may sound like giving up, but it's not. Just you know, que sera sera. You know were life stood Friday was that I had one remaining viable crush, I haven't really met anyone else or whatever. Today, I have one remaining viable crush. The downside is that he's going to stay there probably indefinately :(
Any ideas for new years?

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