If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. ~Bob Hope

Thursday, April 6, 2006

I need a hobby...

I'm okay. I'm not okay.
I want to burn cds. I want to throw cds.
Right now, I am listening to Neil Diamond. 'Bout to go take it out for a walk and really rock out to it.
I don't even care if it's raining.
I've had probably less that two hours sleep.
Alice emailed me. I haven't talked to her since October. I don't know how I feel about it. I mean she would probably be the only friend I got that would be happy about me and Rob hookin' up. And she knows enough about me that she would talk me down from throwing CDs, at least for a day or two then she'd hand them to me to throw if she deemed that I was in fact right.
I so don't understand relationships.
I don't know if I am going to answer her. Part of me says yes. Part of me really misses her. They are small parts it seems.
Maybe this is how it's 'posed to be...a simultaneous amalgam of contradictory stuff. I can't really say how I am feeling right now at this moment. Reverting to my true form I guess...doesn't seem like a good thing.
We have such good talks. Sigh...
Am I going to go through this everyday?
God that's gonna suck.

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