It is amazing what a couple of good nights of sleep can do for a girl!
Believe it or not, I have slept well the past couple of nights.
I don't know if I mentioned it but earlier in the week I did some inebriated emailing.
I don't remember what I said, nor have I the inclination to reread it.
All that matters is I said stuff to someone.
I was thinking about some of it today.
I don't know. I haven't felt as angry about things the past couple of days.
I'm okay with things that I had been letting tear me up.
I can't change the past.
I'm sure in my pickled posting I probably said something about Kelly Clarkson. I'm sure of this because of something on his blog. Really people shouldn't be soo closed minded.
Tonight, I'm going to leave you with two of her songs.
First, "Behind These Hazel Eyes" because of memories I have, specifically with the video. See, one night, a night that really should have been our night I had to listen to how upset Rachel was at his giddiness surrounding our one month anniversary. I had to hear how she whined that he never did (insert whatever sweet thing he was doing here) for her. I had to hear all of this in lieu of getting my groove on. I ended up on my own couch because I just didn't know what to say, because really I should have never had to say no talking about her in my bed. Anyhow, as I lay there vegging out to the FUSE channel, this video came on. Ever seen it?
Definately not a concept I needed to see...she's getting ready to get married...has this vision of him with some other chick...surprise surprise that chick's at the wedding...she walks out before he can put the ring on her finger, but not before chucking the ring at the other woman.
Yeah, it's like that.
The second is everyone's (well, everyone except pasty pretentious types who think their so much cooler than the rest of the world) favor new breakup anthem "Walkaway" There is no other song (unless I wrote one) that so succinctly describes how I was really starting to feel. Oh god, especially the "You've got your mother and your brother/Every other undercover/Tellin' you what to say" line. It's a damn shame we didn't go to Bosco's with Mark because I might have got up and rocked this bad boy like I would in my car.
These two songs they are the end of the relationship.
There never seemed to be anything I could say or do to change any of it.
Don't think it doesn't bother me,
but maybe it's for the best seeing as maybe I'm
just too normal for someone like him.
"Behind These Hazel Eyes"
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
"Walk Away"
You've got your mother and your brother
Every other undercover
Tellin' you what to say (say)
You think I'm stupid
But the truth is
That it's cupid, baby
Lovin' you has made me this way
So before you point your finger
Get your hands off of my trigger
Oh yeah
You need to know this situation's getting old
And now the more you talk
The less I can take, oh
I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away
I waited here for you
Like a kid waiting after school
So tell me how come you never showed (showed)?
I gave you everything
And never asked for anything
And look at me
I'm all alone (alone)
So, before you start defendin'
Baby, stop all your pretendin'
I know you know I know
So what's the point in being slow
Let's get the show on the road today
Hey
I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away
I wanna love
I want a fire
To feel the burn
My desires
I wanna man by my side
Not a boy who runs and hides
Are you gonna fight for me?
Die for me?
Live and breathe for me?
Do you care for me?
'Cause if you don't then just leave
I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
If you don't have the answer
Walk away
Just walk (walk) away
(Just walk away)
Then just leave
Yeah yeah
Walk away
Walk away
Walk away
*************
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