Buffer Post

Yeah, so you may have noticed that I am not of the best of spirits lately. God knows, I am trying. Some days, I just hit these gargantuan titanium walls of doubt and disillusion. Plugging and chugging along, and seemingly never really getting anywhere or accomplishing anything.

See, what you may have failed to pick up on with that last post is that I had written an extensive, thoughtful piece about how I was feeling, what I was thinking, my perceptions. Then, suddenly, it was all gone. It was indeed a strange nanosecond of events where I went from posting to not being on the posting page and all without any of it being saved. The not being saved part is the strangest because I've never not had this thing autosave. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure I have it selected in my settings.

So where do I go from here? That's where I am at. Everything that I have been doing isn't really working. This blog, the other blogs, the social media, the Gil Gunderson-ness of my direct sales career, my seeming unemployability. I like to write, but then just because you like something does that mean you should do it? Lately, well, let's just say I aspire to be as optimistic as Stuart Smalley with his "I'm good enough. I am smart enough. And doggone it, people like me" affirmation. I question everything about me, and it's really kind of horrible time to do it because I do have a lot of great new people in my life. Now if I can just keep my profound social retardation from destroying me, I'll be okay.

I hope.