Being an adult means always having to say you're sorry

I'm sorry. Yep. I'm sorry. Why? Because that's what mature, responsible people say when they have done something that is hurtful or that they perceive to be hurtful. Why did I say that they perceive to be hurtful? Because sometimes things that weigh on our conscious don't even hit the radar of the person that we think we have wronged, but that doesn't excuse the behavior.

No one likes to be wrong. It's a horrible feeling but sorry really does take the pain away.

The idea of amends has been swirling around my head for awhile, but really got kicked to the forefront the past couple of days. You know or may have picked up on that I am in direct sales, a dabbler really. (Or at least that's what I tell myself to lessen the pain of the lack of income derived from direct sales.) Anyway, I made a decision regarding my direct sales lines that I am really feeling some stuff over. I thought I had an opportunity to be a part of an organization that peddled a line of products that I could really get behind without much effort. The bonus was the it was free to join. After a month, based on faulty information, I chose to concentrate my efforts on this organization exclusively.

So where's the pain? Well, my sponsor in Clever Container really invested a lot in me and I do feel remorse. I actually have come to regret my decision to stop working that line. My renewal comes up in just a little over 30 days and I am in need a miracle mode to continue there. It's really only a couple of parties worth of volume, but I have no books, no supplies, no leads, so yep a miracle.

To continue where the pain is from, I have really felt over the past couple of weeks that I need to speak with and apologize to each of my downline in Do You Bake individually.  Ironic, because most of them never actually became active with the business. I chose to become active based on a lie really. I looked at my dashboard and saw sales and assumed it was from the work I had done. I looked at my dashboard and saw a team, and felt a little optimistic. Much of what scared many of my downline members away was the inability of anyone to control what was being said on the consultant page on Facebook. Well, that and a lack of understanding about the "free" sign-ups.

So thinking that I was making progress, I made a commitment. Turns out though, it's all been a sham. The sales volume that I saw on my reports. I don't know what it was or where it came from but I surely never got paid on it. I understand that I wouldn't be paid on DLs who joined under the free, but I had roughly a hundred bucks that I showed....and subsequently disappeared...that would have equated to about twenty bucks income. I wrongly assumed that the fruits of my mastering Hootsuite had finally come to pass.

At the current time, they owe me money for fundraisers that I had set up. It's not a huge sum of money, but it is the principle. They also to my knowledge owe two other people. An upline and a downline of mine. I do not know the sums, but I feel embarrassed that I put some one else in this situation. Me and my DL, we may have learned Valley View math, but we also have Valley View ethics, so this is totally unacceptable. no one should have to ride a direct sales company to pay out what they are owed...ever...period...end of story.

I am tired of people's excuses. I am tired of my emails going unanswered. I am tired of hearing about "growing pains". I am tired of other people's BS. I gave them a bye on one issue, because I thought it was knee-jerk on the parts of the people crying foul. Nearly six months later, I wish I had been as smart as those gals.

Thankfully, all of my DL joined under a free promotion. Only a couple of people have any money tied into this and again thankfully not too much. (Well, at least, what I can see so I pray that their additional investments are minimal.)

So, yeah, I screwed up and I am sorry. No amount of remorse is gonna make them move on paying anyone though. It's just a chain of unanswered emails. I do wish I could turn back the clock and some how make things not turn out this way. I'd love to turn back time and put the same amount of effort in to Clever as I did DYB and not feel like such a POS right now. If you are in my DYB DL and have not been correctly paid, please, please let me know and we will work on righting this wrong. I know that many of you have dreams of your own that you are trying to bring to fruition. I hope that this has not hindered you.



So yeah, I am sorry. On the DYB tip, you trusted me and now my integrity is tarnished because of their lack of ethical behavior. Cleverly speaking, I had dreams there and I thought something bigger had come along and I abandon all y'all and I feel terrible. If we stay here all night, I will eventually apologize for the Hindenburg disaster.

I am sorry. I am so sorry.