Naked

Driving home from Walmart, this song came on. It's one of those oh I used to love bands...that I never listen to now. I listened to it twice.

You're naked inside your fear
Can't take back all those years
Shots in the dark from empty guns
Never heard by anyone
Never heard by anyone 

It just really hit me. Idk, since y'all don't live in my head and I have been MIA the past week it would be difficult to catch you up to speed. And just so ya know, despite the somewhat somber tone of the song... I feel perty good. I can tell that I have changed. My attitude on this job is different. Probably a number of reasons why, but it's a nice change. It takes a lot of pressure of to not be looking for the next step up and to instead be focused on total mastery of this level.

Sigh, perhaps I learned that too quickly because there are some possibilities that may interfere with this job. It's really quite hilarious that it seems like every time I find a job, my other half has a new opportunity thrown at him. He deserves it. I find it funny really. And again, in a show of change, I am not worried.

I very rarely ever write down anything at church. Okay, anything serious. It's been months ago, but there was something that I was said that struck me so profoundly I dug a crumpled receipt out of my purse and scribbled it down. It was in my wallet until last week when I put it on my dashboard.

God's will will never take you where God's grace will not sustain you.

I have heard variations of that that left me flat or were just flat out annoying. I don't know if it was the delivery or perhaps just the receiver's state of mind that made that resonate with me so much. Or maybe it's just because it sounds more cosmopolitan than "If He leads you to it, He'll lead you through it" I don't know. 

If ANYTHING...I know that "Naked" hit me the way it did tonight because it's one of those songs that I am hearing with different ears. I am really grateful to not be in that place anymore where I feel bounded by all my fears. It's raw and an uncomfortable and really not that fun to live. Dude, I am far from perfect or fearless or whole but I am working on it. I guess that's something. Shrug. Idk. 

I probably seem crazy and rambling because the last couple of weeks of my life. OMG, you just wouldn't believe it if I told and I really think that some of those weirdo things that happen...you aren't supposed to tell about directly. So here's to not being naked and living so that I can help other people find their clothes too. TTFN.

Throwback Thursday: Remembering when boys were stupid

So when I started in 2005, I was single. It would be almost a year and a half before I met my husband.

My dating life was...well...drama is an understatement. Realizing this, I probably won't be throwing back to every post because some of these post are complete snapshots of pain and even in all their humor aren't worth giving the light of day to at all.

This post is one that is funny to me now. It wasn't as funny to me then but here we are seven years later and I am happily married and the dude I was bitching about is still bouncing around trying to find himself. Granted it's probably been five years since I had any news about him, but one of us is on the down side of forty now and I kinda think that by time you get there nothing short of a miracle could change you.

Not going to try the frame today, just not feeling the extra keystrokes. So, for today's throwback enjoyment: Friday, June 24, 2005 <3

Wordless Wednesday: Michigan Daydream

Dawn of a new day...or something like that...

Have to report to my first day of training in roughly an hour and a half. Not sure what to expect. I don't have butterflies, but then I also don't have an ounce of anticipatory excitement. Other than the company and the job title, it's a complete unknown. I ended up going through an agency to find a job. Well, actually, it's a little different than that exactly but who cares about details.

In some ways, nothing about this is ideal. The shift. The distance. The job title. So, here's to learning what I am supposed to learn on this leg of my journey as quickly as possible to so I can move on.

So, wish me luck, I guess. I'm sure my posting here will be sporadic until I can get into some sort of rhythm.

Probably shouldn't have switched to decaf :)

Throwback Thursday aka Recycled Post

I need to get back on track because posting means page views and page views mean progress.

I officially...I guess officially...started blogging on June 24, 2005. Back then it was called "Chisel Point for Deeper Penetration"...a name that I stole off a box of staples and have always thought would be pretty funny printed on a pair of boxers.

And yes, I do realize there are some framing issues. I'm no coder. Just someone who does this as a hobby. Maybe someday, I'll actually take a class or something. Some day like never. Anyway...6/24/05 for your throwback enjoyment:

Wordless Wednesday

Blogger Opportunity: Labor Day Blogfest & bookfair

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