Your Wounded Inner Child, Austin Pike Interchange and This Stain on This Shirt

What are things that are bothering Jenny today?  I'll take what is she going to do about it
for two cents, Alex.

The biggest challenge of the day is my co-workers...again. I ended up having a chance in encounter with my supervisor in the hallway and mentioned to her somethings and magically it has quieted down for the rest of the day. Hopefully for good but we'll see. I am not going to replay the events but definitely some twisted inner child stuff going on with this crowd.

I am not saying I don't have my own issues. It is because I do that I can recognize it in others. I work hard to heal those wounds. The stuff at work picks at my emotional scabs sometimes. There was a moment this morning when I truly felt like I was back in elementary school. But then I remembered that I am an adult and I don't have to get sucked into someone else's game. It really is nothing more than a game...a game of defective characters and spiritual bankruptcy. I don't have the power to heal anyone but I am adding this to my list of things to pray for on behalf of certain coworkers. Peace and healing from old hurts so that they can progress in life and fulfill their potential.

Also, there is a tendency of certain people in this group to throw scripture into our team chats. I am not opposed to scripture. I am opposed to people going to BibleGateway.com and randomly searching a feeling. I am opposed to people not practicing what they preach. Not my place to judge, so this is merely an observation, I have noticed that several of these folks have stood up and openly claimed their Christianity, only to curse someone or gossip in the next breath. There are a number of commandments and not so commanded things being overlooked and ignored.

If I were to choose a general verse, I would pick Galatians 1:10 and paraphrase it,"I choose to be popular with God, not with men." I don't know why but I think of that often at work. But if I were to put something in the team chat to counter what they were posting, it would most definitely be something from Proverbs but I can't really be specific without grabbing my Bible. Proverbs is filled with verses about laziness and folly.

Sigh, then we had an added complication today that pretty much obliterated what was left of the morale of the few people who actually have been working and adhering to schedules, etc. I am done. I am getting a new job on Tuesday. It's not arbitrary, I have an interview, and I am pretty sure it is my job.

The whole Austin Pike interchange annoyance is just that it can be unduly complicated to get from 675 to my office some days. What a mess?!

I have no idea where the stain on this shirt came from. It's a yellow shirt so the stain is glaringly obvious.

Big sigh, outside of work, things don't suck. I think I am finally getting somethings through my head about the way things are and what I need to do. I need to stop settling and get into something somewhere where my obsessive need to do the homework and best the best that I can be is appreciated. Life is not something that is meant to be endured. Sure, it's a journey. Sure, sometimes it is difficult. But I don't think any of us are supposed to spend our days just waiting it out until death. But that's just me, I may be certifiable or something because as of late most people treat me like I am f'in crazy.

I don't really have a good prayer to write in this post. Got a lot of things on my list and I am going to go spend sometime  before bed unloading them. Probably listen to some harp music on youtube. I got turned onto it while my husband was away. This one is one of my favorites, although, I don't think I have ever listened to the whole thing as it seems to lull me to sleep fairly quickly.

Movement in Still Life: New Lease on Life

Wanna talk crazy Saturday action? This girl has been up since 4:15AM! It wasn't some weird insomnia thing either. I woke up. I felt rested. I said to myself I have a ton of paperwork to do, maybe I can do it now and then can actually spend time with the family today. I am pretty smart sometimes.

So, yeah, between 4:15 and about 7 I did pages and pages of paperwork that I needed to do for what I am currently deeming a super secret reason. And by secret, I just mean that I'm going to wait until after they run the background check to announce any changes to my current playbook ;)

I am learning to love the term "leased worker". I have had regular, permanent, full-time positions and I think I would still prefer that in some ways. But in that sort of status, no one hires you just on the basis of your resume. At least, that's never happened to me in all my working years.

Lol, so,yeah, I guess I can't even keep my own secrets, can I?

What weird, wonderful week this has shaped up to be!

After this particular recruiter contacted me, I had 8 others contact me about the very same position. I sloughed it off as side effect of the line of business the position is in and well, yes, on paper I do look awesome. Then the recruiter called to say they were starting to accept people on the basis of their resume only, was I still interested. Sure, why not. I never would have imagined that she would call me back in less than an hour to say that I had been accepted.

I say weird and wonderful week because the night before that happened. I actually cried myself to sleep. I am not ashamed to admit that. I had a very hard day at work. I have a very difficult co-worker to deal with and idk, there are some other issues at hand. I was upset. Really upset. I feel like an absolute loser sometimes because I don't really feel like I am particularly talented in any one area...I've never had a position that required the bachelor's degree that was supposed to take me so much further in life...I don't receive the same pats on the head...I could go on with this list forever. It was all coming up the other night. I hate feeling like my best is never enough. Anyway...

So, yeah, I don't have to worry about that anymore...well, okay, I'm going to go through the next two weeks. I'm not going to slack, it's not my style. I'll probably do some vindictive working, just make my absence that more meaningful. I know I am so weird, but hey it get's me by.

Anyway, in the midst of my printing and scanning and copying and pasting in the wee hours of the morning. Movement in Still Life popped in my head. Not the song, but the words. Too lazy to dig the CD out, I went to YouTube which is sometimes an auspicious mistake. I picked the following video, but it's not  the song Movement in Still Life but a song from the album Movement in Still Life "Never Gonna Come Back Down"   It's encapsulates a bit how I feel right now...like I am in the club, I got energy to spare and nothing is going to ruin my night.

They say perspective is everything. I think I had an extreme point of view makeover this week.

Dawn of a new day...or something like that...

Have to report to my first day of training in roughly an hour and a half. Not sure what to expect. I don't have butterflies, but then I also don't have an ounce of anticipatory excitement. Other than the company and the job title, it's a complete unknown. I ended up going through an agency to find a job. Well, actually, it's a little different than that exactly but who cares about details.

In some ways, nothing about this is ideal. The shift. The distance. The job title. So, here's to learning what I am supposed to learn on this leg of my journey as quickly as possible to so I can move on.

So, wish me luck, I guess. I'm sure my posting here will be sporadic until I can get into some sort of rhythm.

Probably shouldn't have switched to decaf :)

Too tired to post about it now

Hello friends, I hope this Monday finds you well! I started my first day of my first full week at my new job this morning and I am tuckered out! Not a complaint, I am grateful to have found a spot somewhere working exactly the hours I have been looking for 6a-11a. Just going to take a day or two of adjustment to the old sleep schedule. 

I am sure I'll have plenty of tales to tell about life in the Tardis of gas station stores.

I'll be back with something more interesting tomorrow.

J