Sixteen Candles rotting my sponge-like brain that looks like a pinata

A little bit of an unintended hiatus there. Seriously, seriously off track...but the good news is my husband assures me that once he gets going this is going to be better than our wildest dreams.

True confession time...I often...while alone in my vehicle pop this CD and play this song at maximum volume. This is one of those songs... When it came out, I loved it. I didn't fully understand it but nonetheless looooved it. Flash forward, um, a few years...this isn't a song that I have listened to religiously but rather one I rediscovered. On some levels, I can see my life playing out as the video.

I know, my life as the video. How crazy! Then, this song was a catchy tune with a pop culture reference. Now, well, now I am an old married lady who has been on both sides of the "I wish I loved you" conundrum. A whole lot this song makes me think of someone with whom I was associated with on and off. I guess there is this whole thankful melancholy for me surrounding that song. I can wistfully remember those days of yore when seemingly dreamy guys continually fell short in the shining armor department. I am so glad that I do not have to worry about that kind of rejection and insecurity anymore.

But that whole "I wish I loved you" ugh, for me, even as a happily married woman it invokes such a feeling for me, a memory. When I hear those lyrics, my brain goes to specific moments in time that I was on either side of those lyrics more or less. I think that may actually be the worst feeling in the world...to be the person saying that. I have been on the other side, and it hurts but I think it's worse to be the deliverer of such news. The times I can think of in my life where that was the case, I did feel so awful that despite all else that part just didn't click.

I should probably find a new song to blast. These things go in cycles for me anyway. But what, what should be my next song? I think I have learned all I needed to from this one. It is certainly nice to think about these memories and be Mrs.Wolfe. If any of those non-reciprocating jokers had loved me, then I would be stuck with them right now. I believe stuck is the right word because well, I know...knew them. I can not imagine that I would be nearly as happy had things been different.

I do mean that. Both about the happiness and these things going in cycles for me. Not so long before Molly, the blasted song was Garbage "When I Grow Up". I wish I was half as hot as Shirley Manson. Most days I feel like I look more like Marilyn Manson. Perhaps, I need to latch on to "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story. But yeah, for some reason, that Garbage song really resonated with me for a long time. I think most of it was in an ironic way, but still.

As I am writing this, I realize that I think that the new song obsession is already fading in, I just hadn't realized it. I don't know though, if I am ready to admit my love affair with Oasis, though. "Roll With It" is in heavy rotation, just as heavy as "Molly" so maybe that's the one. Hmm, in light of the fact that I was singing it, it's more than a maybe...

...oh, who knows...

Enjoy the Sponge video that doesn't end with Bob Square Pants! I know for some of you a sponge without square pants is a real treat!

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. ~ Ambrose Bierce

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. It's 6:44am and I am up and posting.

I have been up since a little after five when I rolled over to find that I could. My husband was gone, and honestly it bummed me out a little. Turned out he hadn't left yet, so I got to have a little chat and see him off...okay, granted, I never actually left the comfort of the bed.


Last night marked the first night all week he was home. He started a new job this week. The training schedule is crazy intensive with him spending time at I guess it's a regional office, the corporate HQ, his new office, and one close to here. This week has been interesting for sure. I actually drove four hours (round trip) just to spend five hours with him the other night.


So, I am up and I am writing and wishing the coffee would pour itself and walk over to me.


I have never been a morning person. I enjoy mornings but there is such a lack of availability at places that I have tended to not get anything done in the morning. Our whole schedule is changing. I don't mind the change, except that we don't really know what the routine will be. We won't know for a few more weeks, and even then that routine will be short-lived because summer will be here and the school schedules will drop out of rotation.


I guess a better subject line for this blog would have been "The Only Constant is Change". See what happens when I don't have my coffee, I can't think clearly! No, I picked well. I have had no listlessly idle time this week. Even though I do not really have today planned out fully (yet), I know that I will fully utilize the next eight hours so that when he gets home I can spend sometime with him. Sure, I've got the weekend too but I hardly got to see him last night.

I laid in bed the other night, after I got home from visiting him. I found myself thinking about how you don't really realize how not together you are sometimes until you are really not together. How many twenty-four hour periods we've misspent! Ah, but all of that is another blog. I really must get out of this bed and get my coffee and get on with my day.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!  I know I plan to :)

Whole Wheat Flax Beer Bread from Do You Bake?

I believe I posted about this bread before. I wanted to post again because I made it differently and have my own photos and I haven't got anything else to talk about.

 This is all it takes to make a loaf, and yes, I am aware of the irony of using a diet soda with my all-natural, preservative-free, additive-free mix.

I made it with Coke Zero last time and it had a tinge of sweetness to it. I wondered if root beer would have a similar sweetness.

I probably should have used the macro setting to show you the texture of the mix better. I just love how hearty it looks. The darker areas are the flax seeds.

 Just 12 ounces of liquid is all you need to add to the mix.

Just for the record. Those are two different measuring cups. I measured in a two cup and mixed in a four cup, but in the future I will use something slightly larger for mixing.

Prior to baking, the instructions specify to add one tablespoon of olive oil or melted butter/margarine to the top.

The finished product.

To be honest, I didn't really care for this batch of bread. The flavor was fine with the root beer, but using oil instead of butter seemed to dry out the top. Also, if you weren't an olive oil fan, the flavor would definitely bother you as the earthiness of the EVOO was fully imparted in this bread.

I still recommend this bread mix. My husband liked it both ways, as did the kids...and the dog. I just personally probably won't use oil in the prep in the future.

In addition to Whole Wheat Flax Beer Bread, Do You Bake offer seven other varieties of beer bread, along with sweet cream breads. You can check them out at http://www.DoYouBake.com/JennyWolfe.

Random Topic Conversation Generator

I am at a loss for words today. Exhausted and slightly scattered, smothered, covered, chunked and capped.

So, here are a few gems from http://www.conversationstarters.com/generator.php along with my silly answers. I guess part of putting my trust in something bigger than myself starts with not taking myself so seriously!

What is the first thing you do in the morning?

Wish my son wasn't such a morning person.

 

What did you have for lunch yesterday?
Leftover Baked Enchilada Casserole.

What is the least favorite thing about this week?
Sleeping alone.

 

Would you rather be the most popular kid in school or the smartest kid in school?
Moot. Both have their pros and cons. Could I pick to be the smartest popular kid?

Do you like to cook?

Yes, very much so!

 

What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep?

Count my blessings and acknowledge appreciation for them. 

 

What is the best thing that happened to you this week?

Hmmm, it's been a rough couple of days. I'll get back to you. 

 

Do you prefer to shop online or in a store?
In a store. I am tactile. I need to touch it. I am particular about materials and the way things feel. 

 

What is your dream job?

The one that doesn't feel like work.

 

Would you rather go without junk food for a year or go without TV for a year?
Junk food, I guess. Not that I am heavy into either one of those.

 

What drink do you usually order with your food?
Water. 

 

Who do you have on your speed dial?
Husband. Daughter. Mom. Brothers.

Do you recycle?
I plead the fifth.

 

Would you want to know when you'll die?

No.

 

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Writer. Mom. Queen of the Universe.

 

What did you have for dinner last night?

Veggie Burger and fries from Christopher's.

What celebrity do you like to follow?
None really. Stalking is a young game. The older I get, the less involved or interested in all of that I seem to be. 

 

What was your favorite subject in school?
Elementary: Art

Middle School:English/Reading/Art/Shop/Home Ec

High School:English, Adv. Comp., French, Drama

College: Philosophy, Insurance, Financial Planning, Management and Economics.
I know weird right? 

What do you do to stay in shape?
Good question. I am out of shape. I get winded just thinking about working out.

 

Where did you go on your last vacation?
I guess you can kind of count Chicago or Lexington. Really tho, it's been a long time since I've taken anything more than a couple of day get away. 

 

Do you have any vacation plans coming up?
Possibly revisiting Chicago and Lexington this spring and summer. We've briefly discussed a winter trip to some place magical...you might even say it's the most magical place on Earth. 

 

What was the last movie you saw?
Re-watched "Heathers" the other night. 

 

I could probably do that all day. Maybe I'll find a different one to entertain you with tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Got arrested at the Mardi Gras for jumpin' on a float"

Yes, I will have that song running through my head all day! My man MCA's got a a beard like a billy goat. I suppose these things happen, mostly to me it would seem,  but I do sort of hope that the Beastie Boys fans out there now find themselves with a wild urge to "Shake Your Rump"

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Mardi Gras. Literally "Fat Tuesday", not to be confused with Foie Gras which is literally gross (IMO) but definitely something that someone would probably indulge in on Mardi Gras. Wonder if the phrase, Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we shall die was coined on Fat Tuesday.

Tomorrow, Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten season. Forty-six days of fatalistically enduring giving up something. Well, if you talk to some folks that's really the impression that you would get. It never ceases to amaze me how much people who present themselves as being pious and devout can bitch and moan about their Lenten sacrifice. Pretty much misses the point. I can imagine a cartoon with some chicky complaining about how hard it is to give up Diet Coke for Lent with  Jesus sitting next to her commenting,"If you think that's bad, let me tell about what I gave up."

I am a bit more esoteric in my denials. Last year, I "gave up" thinking. I have a propensity for overthinking which leads to horrible chains of anxiety-ridden, what-if thinking. It is much more of a spirit-blocker than chocolate or soda or booze. I forget exactly how I phrased it but I didn't use "give up" because semantically it creates an illusion of lack and  monkeys hate lack. That is where people get so hung up they focus on what they are loosing and completely miss out on what they are gaining.

I personally think that as a whole people are so bounded into the rote that they miss the lesson. How much does it really effect you spiritually to give up something unhealthy if you fail to replace it with something healthy in that same time period. Some people give up the same thing, every year, year after year, for their entire lifetimes, what did they gain from that? An illusion of self-control...the ultimate self-deception.

So, I don't know what I am going to do. I have a my Lenten reader, and I'll probably read the beginning of that at some point today. Largely, it seems like the answer is already in the air. The situation for the next like eight weeks in my life...woooweeee, let's just leave it at this: perhaps this Lent I need to give up my trust in myself.

Have a great day everyone! Stay well!

I do solemnly swear I am up to no good...

...and by no good, I mean all good but you might not have read it if you thought it was some sort of Pollyanna post about sunshine and kitty cats.

I am working on a project that makes me giddy. I miss work making me giddy...if it in fact ever did.

Everything that is coming at me says to go in this certain direction, and so I am listening. Please let it be a divine voice and not just some stray voice in my head!

Happy Monday! Have a grrreat week!

Lazy Sunday...I wish!

So, I totally missed a Saturday post. Sorry. I am not going to do Clever Container post on Saturdays because frankly Clever Container has not been working for me, despite how hard I have worked for it, so I decided to cut it loose. Not sure what I will post instead on Saturdays now. Maybe a tribute to Enpde, but I don't know.

Busy Saturday, but I don't mind. It's reallt better that way.

Everything sort of seems that way lately. I was thinking that I didn't have much going on with my Do You Bake? business, but when I wrote it down it turned out that I have a vendor show, a Girl's Night Out, and a huge online fundraiser on the horizon. I also have a fledgling networking group that I am attached to that I have had a couple of interesting ideas for. I have been given free reign with the social media and marketing of Endpe. So much, so much and it's soo much fun.

As I am writing this, I am enjoying a nice chardonnay listening to my other half swear at Sound Forge. I am really beginning to suspect that life was never intended to be all compartmentalized. From 6-5, I am this person. From 5-8, some other. Et al. No, I think you are supposed to be who you are all the time. I think that fact that my husband and I are sitting here are hmmm o' clock on a now Sunday morning doing what some would perceive as "working" but in fact really quite enjoying ourselves is some sort of testimony to that end.

This is shaping up to be a crazy week. He starts a new job on Monday, and it's got uber intensive training. I don't mind so much. I'm really thankful for all he does for this family but...BUT this week is going to be a test. Actually, really the next couple of months. Dude, I've never seen a training schedule like he has. It's a little bit awesome because if they are putting that much into him, then I know they didn't choose him lightly. 

The kids are off school Monday which is a mixed blessing. With the Wolfeman being tied up in new jobsville, it is somewhat nice to have one day where the schedule doesn't matter. It amuses me that I spent 12 or so years as a single mother, yet completely freak out at the prospect of kinda playing that role during business travel and other events. I dunno, Reynaldo is one of those guys that is very much a part of family life, when he is detained from that...it shows. I have made a small effort to fill up the time this week with other activities. I hope that works out.

I don't know how the rest of Sunday is going to pan out. I know Wolfeman has to hit the hay early to meet his new start time. But that's about all that is firm in our schedule. Our house is in serious need for a deep cleaning, especially since I have people coming over Saturday for a Scentsy party.

12:31 am 2/19/12 life is good!