If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. ~Bob Hope

Monday, October 15, 2012

Okay, so, I am still not back on track but hey...

Art by Lisa Patrick Wright.
Photo by Daniel Reibert.
So, yeah, still completely widdershins in all aspects of life. I have been chipping away at the house, the laundry, the dishes today but honestly it feels like I have to accept this as the new normal.

It's not entirely true. We've had some interesting issues the past week that have caused a huge backlog of dirty dishes. I heart an older house, I really do. I, however, do not heart plumbing issues. That seems to be the flavor of the month here. First, it was the upstairs toilet. Then, the downstairs sink. And finally, at least it damn well better be the final thing, we had to replace the water heater at our rental. Fun. Fun.

In the meantime, the job I switched to took all of one shift to get on my last nerve and all of two to stay there. No worries, I already have something else lined up. I am starting to feel like there should be some Quantum Leap rip-off voice-over with me and jobs: Theorizing that one could find a job that didn't suck in her own lifetime, Jenny Wolfe hopped in her car, accelerated and took a right at the Speedway. She arrived at her job assignment to find herself trapped in a position, facing mistakes that were not her own and driven by an unknown force to change her resume for the better...and hoping each time that the next leap will be the leap home. 

Not ungrateful, not moaning, complaining...it's just not for me. It has nothing to do with the post last week about the person whom I pray I never actually run into and everything to do with perhaps finally seeing that maybe I haven't wanted enough for myself. Granted, this next leap, is into something seasonal and manual but at least it buys me some time. Time for what, I don't know. It's complicated.

So, if you remember, I had posted a couple of time about the SK8 of the Art show to benefit The Dayton Skatepark Project. The closing show was this past weekend and I am pleased to report that one of my raffle tickets was a winner! I won the board that was designed and painted by Lisa Patrick Wright. Definitely a bright spot in some of the ickiness of the past several days.

I don't know which way to go. I have ideas and whatnot, but execution is proving tricky. I am tired, tired enough that I lack the motivation to do the things I like...like this blog and the enpde stuff...and I hate that because not being motivated to be happy is--um, well, it's one of those warning signs. I guess today, I am going to leap back into getting this laundry folded and just see what unfolds after that. Maybe it's just not time for me to fully unleash my awesomeness on the world or maybe I am not as awesome as I previously thought. At any rate, I am okay with it either way. I just need to know which way so I can get a decent night sleep.


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