|Cupcakes from Ashley's...yum...however, not my cupcakes...boo!|
So, today is my third twelfth birthday plus one. Yeah, hmm, what to say what to say.
First, those cupcakes on the left were my daughter's "sweet sixteen" cupcakes. So, I will not be enjoying their deliciousness today. I do not know what this birthday has in store for me besides my husband's mention of taking me to Figlio. That excites me because I do like the ambiance there and the food is good. It's been awhile since I've been there, so this is good.
Being 12 x 3 + 1 is just odd. I don't know, there is that whole line of I always thought that I would have really done so much more, something different, not sucked as much...by now. I have three years until anyone actually cares about my birthday. Of course, by cares, I mean it's is a birthday milestone in which people will come out of the woodwork with death imagery and snarky comments about my tits. Just sayin'
I still think hands down, my sixteenth birthday is winning the best birfday ever award, and the includes the clogged toilet fiasco. And really, that's just because I can't remember what age I was on other super awesome occasions. The first would be when Alice took me to Joker's and then we met up with my brother at Therapy. Another would be with my brothers that fateful night when The Right Corner was apparently wrong and we spent some much needed bonding time at Southern Belle. You know it's a good time when three grown adults pull up to their parents house a little before 5a and are freaked out because the old man will be getting up for work and their will be hell to pay. Then, there's birthday 2006, I went to Red Lobster with this dude I'd been seeing for about a week. He brought me a rose but then the end of the night was kind of weird. If he hadn't married me, would I remember it as well? Oh and then as married folks going to Funny Bone and getting my cup autographed...not that anyone will believe me since Josh Blue did the signing and CP has a funny way of looking like anyone could do it. Those are just a couple, but really I have tons of wonderful birthday memories. Oh, and then my surprise party last year
If it wasn't for my friends and family, I would just let this day go by. I know people might now believe it but if it were just me I probably would do nothing. I am just not that into myself. I want to be, but I just can't do it.
I have always tried not to get bogged down by my numbers. Lately though, I have been keenly aware of my mortality and it really doesn't help. Keenly aware of where I have and haven't been. Cognizant of the fact that realistically I could be a grandma in the next five years. And somehow, in all of these notions, painfully aware of all I have not done.
Crazy, crazy birthdays. I have oft wondered if mine didn't hit so close before the busy holidays if I could be less existential about them. My birthday has always been the gateway to the hustle and bustle of Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's always been birthday, Halloween, chaos.
Soo, woooo, happy birthday to me! May it always, ALWAYS be on Boss's or Sweetest Day, and may it always seem somewhat awkward and anti-climatic.
I know, I suck. But it's my birthday, so boo ya!