I am not in a good place tonight. Scarfing down an Endangered Species Chocolate Bar. Dark Chocolate with Almond and Cranberries to be exact, purchased because it has my picture on it LOL
God helps those...
I don't know where that started. I don't know if maybe it used to be true. I don't know if I can restrain hitting the next person I ever hear say that. When you first hear it, you feel a little uplifted. It might even help you get through a tough time. Then, one day the F-bombin' fit hits the shan. And you try and you try and since things are still reasonably together you give thanks and keep trying, not thinking that for all your efforts you are going to wake up one day making substantially less, all of your saving depleted, scraping by. I don't know why the universe keeps choosing to flip me the bird, because I certainly don't feel that way about the universe. The worst part of today was not the disappointment at a glimmer of hope being nothing more than smoke and mirrors. The worst part of the day was getting in the car and looking at the welfare mom and her six kids that we are supporting.
Uneffin believable. Sigh. I feel so isolated. I remember reading something the other day from Queen of Your Own Lifein their facebook feed. I don't know the exact quote but it was something about sharing your life because it helps others or some such touchy feely horse hockey. I don't really have anyone that I can or that I have really talked to about everything that is going on. The drop of income that we had is more than some couples make together in one year. And (heavy sarcasm alert) stupid us we socked away a shit ton of money and paid off the credit cards, so we never went into a full on crisis mode. We cashed out everything paid off the cars and prayed to whatever gods would listen that we could make it until things got steady again. Not exactly a story many people can relate to or even listen to without a fair amount of resentment welling up or a little thought in the back of their head that we are somehow bragging.
Another day like today and my eyes will roll to the back of my head permanently. I just don't get it. If I were to watch Idiocracy right now, I'd probably kick the shit out of my tv. Which would be a feat since it sits on top of our highboy in the bedroom. So sick of these setbacks they are really overshadowing and dampening the goodness in our lives.
The moral of the story so far this week is inspired by my husband who was talking about this scene from Half Baked:
In case, you are wondering, you're the old guy..cuz you're reading this so you're cool.