I should have gotten a livejournal, at least then I wouldn't feel so bad about not having an audience.
It is disappointing to keep putting oneself out there and not having anyone taking it. This blog, my other blog, my life, my stupid insistence that I need to keep trying.
For what? Continual disappointment. Perpetual sadness. Nagging insecurity.
If you keep reaching out and people keep running away, what is the incentive to keep trying?
My anxiety is through the roof today for various reasons. Mostly I am tired of trying, and tired of holding out hope and playing positive. Optimism is a luxury afforded people who already have what they need, so they can get what they want.