If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. ~Bob Hope

Friday, November 25, 2005

Black Friday

I was going to work today, so that I could get my hours in because nothing sucks more than a short check at Christmastime. I got up a little before seven and the lights and TV were on in the living room because Jordan fell asleep that way probably not long before I got up. Anyhow, when I went to turn off the TV the weather was on, and Mr. Steve Prinzivalli said that it was 11 degrees. So I didn't go to work. I work way too hard for that place anyway, and there are more important things I could be doing today.

I hate my job. I try not to, I really do but it's just so damn hard. I hate being stuck in my cell all day. It's really more of a sensory deprivation chamber, so it's no wonder I'm bordering on not quite sane anymore. I hate the politics. I hate the whining. I hate being the only one who seems to know what is going on some days. I hate that since I took this job I have ended up in a horribly tight financial situation, uh, because well, I got screwed. Really screwed. Actually, I could have had PTO left for today had I not been so, so, so treated so poorly. Neither here nor there, though.

I have had a request which is rather appropriate as I am talking about work... my resume. Not my real one, but the one I wrote when I was really frustrated with my job search. This resume has actually had more hits then all of my serious resumes combined. And actually, I need to update it, because I need to add my new job and all the bitterness and cynacism that it has filled me with.
Resume Headline: Save me from this quagmire of despair

OBJECTIVE: To find a job that does not suck; to look forward to going into work every morning; to stop wondering if all that money I spent on college wouldn't have been better invested in restoring classic muscle cars or starting an Ebay empire from home.
EXPERIENCE: 10/2001 - Present Physicians Advisory Group Moraine, Ohio
Patient Account Representative

Audit patient accounts in an effort to increase collection activity; Updated patient and guarantor information using hospital database, medifax, and collection agency resources; Contacted insurance companies regarding status of unpaid claims; Contacted guarantors via telephone and/or letter to rectify insurance issues, set up payment arrangements, or other account issues; Process charges and post payments from guarantors and insurance companies; arbitrating inter office quarrels and gossip; first hand experience with what Dante was referring to in the Inferno; Contemplating how I could ended being worse off that before I got my degree; Involuntarily subjected to extreme fanatical religious movements, severe psychosis, and nauseating jingoism; manipulating my production to allow for excessive tardiness, unauthorized breaks, and no less than 17 personal calls a day

8/1996 - 4/2000 Vernon F Glaser & Associates Kettering, Ohio
Team Leader

Coordinated daily input for eight client accounts comprising pediatrics, family practice and physical therapy; Prioritized work load for team in order to ensure timely submission of claims and accurate patient statements; Posted client receipts of insurance and/or patient payments; Processed charges from patient superbills; Filing duplicate explanation of benefits for secondary insurance billings; Provided continuing direct training and support for three team members; Analyzed accounts receivable activity for client accounts and initiated account research and/or collection action as needed; Called insurance companies regarding unpaid claims; Researched returned mail; Attempted to contact guarantors; Served as customer service liaison between our clients and their patients; Created financial spreadsheets to facilitate in fee schedule analysis; Collected and clarified regulatory data from HCFA, Medicare, Medicaid and other third party payors in order to maintain compliance in billing procedures; Responsible for checking subordinates work; Helped co-workers reconcile batch errors due to computation problems, double postings, etc; and a whole bunch of other very useful things that no one ever seems to care about or believe that I did, because they have no concept of medical billing operations; starting incendiary rumors; photocopying body parts and faxing them to the most important clients, usually seconds after one of my reps insults their office staff; making calico beans for every freaking carry-in we ever had because, well, people liked them; ordering endless merchandise from schlocky catalogs aimed at thrifty office clerks

5/1996 - 8/1996 Germantown Drive-thru Germantown, Ohio
Sales Clerk

Fetching beer for rednecks while scantly clad and unusually flirtatious to ensure customer satisfaction and heavy tipping; Memorizing everyone's preferences and greeting them with a six pack of ice cold Bud longnecks, Mikesells Flaming Hot chips, and a pack of Winstons; listening to Jimmy prattle on; Making sure Jimmy's wife thought he just left with a gallon of milk; Informing Jimmy that his wife called again; Laughing manically at all the kids I went to school with being buddy buddy with me just because I had the power to pretend that they were of age

9/1994 - 6/1995 Otterbein College Westerville, Ohio
Costume Shop Assistant

Work-study position in theatre department, usually involved menial sewing task while listening to show tunes and catching up on departmental gossip.

7/1994 - 9/1994 meijer Dayton, Ohio

It's Meijer for Christ Sake, no one does any work at Meijer!!!

EDUCATION: Otterbein College US-Ohio-Westerville
Some College Coursework Completed
BFA, Theatre Design/Technology major. Ah, I have such wistful memories of Otterbein, and then there are the things my friends told me I did.

6/2001 Wright State University US-OH-Dayton
Bachelor's Degree

*Relevant Coursework
Sinclair-Principles of Accounting I,II & III, Introduction to Computer Concepts, MS Office, PC Applications in Business, Interpersonal Communications, Effective Speaking I, Personal Ethics, Principles of Management, Management and Organizational Behavior, Marketing I & II, Business Law I & II

Wright State-Business Finance I & II, Personal Finance, Risk & Insurance, Income Tax Accounting I, Business Integrity, Real Estate Principles, Real Money Investing, Retirement Planning & Employee Benefits, Estate Planning, Personal Selling & Sales Management, Real Estate Finance, Seminar in Financial Planning, Practicum in Financial Planning, Marketing Management Lab, Business Writing, Managing Technology & Environment, Strategic Management &Organizational Behavior, Public Policy in the Business Environment
*GPA 3.139
*Graduating from Wright State University completes educational component required to sit for the CFP exam.

Wow, aren't you impressed, all dressed up and no place to go.

3/2000 Sinclair Community College US-OH-Dayton
Associate Degree
Associate of Science, Business Administration

High school was actually harder than most of the classes that I had here.

6/1994 Valley View High School US-OH-Germantown
High School or equivalent

Small rural school where flannel and John Deere caps are always in style. I've blocked most of that out, thank god!

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: What information really is relevant? I mean, have you ever noticed all the things they tell you not to mention? Do not include anything that reveals age, sex, religion, creed (yeah, I don't think I would mention I liked creed either), marital status, sexual orientation (I must have been absent that day), handicap, religion, boxers, briefs, or penchant for anime. So that pretty much encompasses everything, techically I probably shouldn't even put my name on my resumes or applications because that reveals sex.

Other information? Like it matters, all anyone is really looking for is the most cost effective breathing organism that they can find to fill a desk. If intelligence, knowledge, enthusiasm, or any of that really mattered, then I would have my dream job and I wouldn't be blowing off steam posting all of this.

Desired Salary/Wage: 30,000.00 USD Per Year
Current Career Level: Experienced (Non-Manager)
Years of relevant work experience: 7+ to 10 Years
Date of Availability: From 1 to 3 months
Work Status: US - I am authorized to work in this country for any employer.
Active Security Clearance: No
Target Job: Target Job Title: Supreme Ruler of the Galaxy
Alternate Target Job Title: Anything that leads to mgmt and four weeks vacation
Desired Job Type: EmployeeInternTemporary/Contract/Project
Desired Status: Full-TimePart-Time
Site Location: No Preference
Description of my perfect job: HavingspentthepastseveralyrsinhlthcareA/R,Ibelieveanaturalprogressionwldbeinsclaimsadjudication.However,Ihaveyettoconvinceanycarrier(&UknowwhoUare,havingme driveallovrhell'shalfacre&gettingmyhopesup)ofthisfact.DespiteadegreeinFinSvcs,Ihavenointrstinconvincingpeoplethattheyneed transcendentalafterlifepolicies.Mtg bankingintrstme,butsodoeshavingalife outsideoftheofc.Whatwldbe niceistofindapositionwhereIampdwhatIamworth&myintellect,wit,sarcasm,&abilitytobrewcoffeecanbeappreciated.

Target Company: Company Size: No Preference
Category: Other
My ideal company is: What really sucks about Monster is that you can only have one company category. Very few people are so 1-D that that they can't transfer there skills from Waffle House to Chili's. Geesh! Again, ideal company=no soul sucking suckage.

Well, with that I am off. I have family stuff tonight, and tomorrow I am supposed to be going to see the Rubi Girls at Celebrity with the people I work with. I'm kinda thinking that maybe I should go to the Trolley tomorrow night, too. A1 hangs at the Trolley, and even if he didn't anyone who hits on me at the Rubi Girls probably doesn't have the accessories that I am interested in anyway. I'm going to clean, well, at least that's the plan.

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