There is no substance to tonight's post. It's just a memory wrapped in a daydream sprinkled with dreams. For whatever reason, this song is bouncing around my head. I could post some deep and exposing speculation about why it is this song is looping but it is merely speculation. It's only ever fully applied to one person at this point and you know it's whatever.
Whenever I hear this...suddenly, I am 17 again, visiting my friend during her freshman year at Wright State. Someone played this somewhere on her floor while I was there, I am sure of it. I let life soundtrack itself whenever possible and it being such a strong association with the visit I know, knowing me that I had to have heard it. My memory is just someone on the floor jamming it with their door open. Such a good weekend. I do have fond memories of it...and pictures to fill in the blanks.
This song, such a hauntingly fucking awesome song, that I can't even fathom why it is choosing to haunt me now. Like I said, only one person ever in the history of my life of affections and affectations has ever been worthy of Sade. One. A perfectly good waste of Sade considering where he stands on the matter.To some degree it's just my subconscious picking brutally truthful lyrics to wrap around things I am pretending I am okay with, not that it really matters. It is what it is, right? Stupid heart, stupid subconscious.
It's so awkward to have a stalkerish song on my mind when I haven't the least bit of energy to stalk anyone. I have spent a lot of time the past week or so verbally and mentally and every other way letting go of everyone who needs let go of and clearing my mind of any and all intent relationship-wise. I am notoriously bad for overactive romantic rumination which really isn't that great when I have marginal self-love and penchant for self-deprecation.
Somebody got Sade and it is so akin to setting a table with Wedgwood for a dude who could hardly appreciate paper plates. How does that happen? (Rhetorical question. I don't have the professional or libational support to write that paragraph right now.)
I don't know what the point of all this is except to work this particular Sade song into a post. Everything else is irrelevant. I seriously misjudged someone in a seriously fatal way. Merely a flesh wound but early 90s trip hop soul, that's forever.