...Free Association...

...it's a sort of odd thing about me. Some days, most days who am I kidding, my mind works on this whole rapid-fire brainstorm mode. I can't help it. It's pretty much how I was brought up in school...to think to damn much about everything. Maybe one day I'll start an organization of recovering "gifted" children but until then enjoy my madness.

The other day, my husband and I were at a particular health food store we like. There was some drink called something essence. I laughed that essence always makes me think of Dr. Strangelove. This morning because I am lacking any real topic, I looked up the definition of kind on Merriam-Webster. Lo and behold, third definition..."fundamental nature or quality:essence", so yeah my head shot over to this scene.



An underlying theme of books I have picked up over the past year is the idea that we all have a true nature...an essence...and that happiness comes when the essence and the physical self are in alignment so to speak.  Denying your true self to yourself or others only serves to separate you from yourself and the joy of living. The separation is what causes us all to act less than kind, to suffer through all sorts of physical discomfort because we let external circumstances keep us from ourselves.

"Heart of hearts" is what my husband called it last night. I am envious of people who know what is in their heart of hearts, for I don't. There are plenty of things that people think I am good at or destined to do, but I most of those things are not me. They are not the core of me. Not knowing makes it hard for me to read one of my books, because the whole book is about consciously creating your joy. Luckily, the book suggest that if I concentrate on wanting to know what I want in the same manner I might concentrate of some other want that the answer will come to me.

I will have to let y'all know how that works for me. I suppose if you find me going on some jag about Vitamin Water being an extension of "foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual" then you'll know that I still don't know.

Until We Meet Again...