If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. ~Bob Hope

Monday, November 1, 2010

...kind of a drag...

It's really disheartening lately. I keep trying to keep on keeping on but it's so hard. I haven't been in the mood to do the research for this blog, so I haven't posted much of anything. Let alone anything useful!

This morning on Facebook, I posted the following Mitch Hedberg quote:
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

I try not to let this feeling get the best of me, but I don't know at what point in "giving it up to God" am I supposed to accept that there is nothing out there for me? I had an interview this morning for a job I could do in my sleep, and I don't feel like it went well. Same old thing, it's not rocket science, yet everyone wants to treat it that way. Shrug, whatever. Then just a few minutes ago, I get a call about an "opportunity" that I couldn't pull the information out of the woman about. Hang up and Google what I did get, and yep, same type of not very above-board "opportunity" that I have been getting called about every time I put out a resume in the last ten years.

There is next to nothing posted on any of the job sites. I am certainly not a moron, but unfortunately sometimes I am not much of a sheep either. That is the hardest part of job hunting. I am what I am and it never seems to fit anyone criteria for an employee.

It is so completely demoralizing. You to be honest, at this point, it's just about getting the cash to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. A real open answer to where I see myself in 2-5 years, really depends on whether or not I am getting the job.

I've been patient. I've been receptive. I've been willing. I've tried. I've failed. I'm sick of trying. Modern HR methods are complete boondoggery. I am right here. I am right now. I am ready. I am willing. I am able. Who cares what I did yesterday? Who knows what I will do tomorrow?

People keep trying to somehow console me by telling me that I am smart. Smart never got anyone anywhere. No one wants a thinker like me in their ranks. People take my simple observations as mortal challenges. People hear my ideas as war calls. No one wants someone who has a continual improvement mind-set. If they did, I would be wasting company time typing this right now.

Depressing. I feel like I've wasted most of my life, becoming this unemployable being.  Yet, I don't even have any skills or any hobbies that I can turn into a some what steady income stream.


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