I do crack myself up. I think most the time I am the only one laughing, because I am the only one inside my head, and I am probably the only one singing the post title to the tune of a certain Don Henley song from the late 80s.
SOoo, yes, I am not Mary Sunshine 24/7/365. I try to be positive and optimistic but dude, I am human, life flipping gets to me some times!
It really does.
I am not afraid to admit that sometimes (read as: just about everyday lately) I do not know my purpose or my place in life. And I don't know what's up and waiting wears on me and then BOOM a whole sad sap whoa is me diarrhea of the mouth sort of post. I am not proud of it. I actually now more than ever see how one might become, mmm, say...addicted to drama. There is a rush and a reaction and if you are with the right button pushers, it's just like a good drunk.
So, I am kinda back on that should I stay or should I go conundrum. It's just this title...it doesn't fit. Do I make it fit or do I expand into something that is more me? Do I keep wearing the ugly green sweater because I have it or do I get the more flattering orange one because it is time?
I now have porn linking to my site. I think that's like a penultimate sort of thing. Like no one really reads me but I get enough random traffic that porn is willing to link up to me. I don't really know how all that works, but hey what the hell, let's be thankful for that traffic, right?
Also, maybe this isn't the last worthless post. I don't know. If you were to ask me, most of them are worthless. It's something I like to do. People like to whittle but you don't see them putting it all over the internet so maybe I am just still slightly too self-involved to be of use to anyone on any positive level. I don't know.
That's my manta by the way. I don't know. I don't know anything. I know what I would like but in the grand scheme of everything I don't know how things will work out. Say it with me...I don't know. It's a little freeing isn't it? Give up that control and just holler a loud I don't know.
Yep, see, this post was pretty worthless.